I just went to a Miche Purse Party on Friday and am in love!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Sometimes I think it's ridiculous how I can still long for something I never had and never will have. My intellectual part of my self realizes this, but there are times when my heart cries out I guess.
Although I truly understand why you finally just left, it still hurt. After all we were just kids, trying to survive in the cracked foundation beneath our feet. The alcoholism was over whelming. I felt like you took an eraser and erased us. I often look back, seeing my life from a distance, like watching a movie. Feel perplexed how the strings were cut so swift and quick. I've lived so long w/ out you. I didn't get to know what it is like to have that comfort throughout my life. Expectations create hurt and later confusion for me. I don't trust you or even really know you. Sometimes I think I do, I try to bring logic to your actions - so lost, insecure, never received the love, didn't know how to give it. And then I realize I haven't allowed myself to acknowledge my own pain and sadness and sense of loss. I've always thought about your pain, his pain, her pain. I am allowing me to feel a little pissed off and sad about it all. Through it I have learned self love and how I need to give the love I yearned for. I thank God everyday, that I'm able to stand on both feet, chin up, shoulders back and move past it. And yes, once in awhile I'll watch a movie, or see something that triggers my sad spot or yearning for something I never got and never will get. Thank you for helping me learn the tough lesson of accepting the things I can not change.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
I remember just being so in love with my hubby when we first met and then got married!
Building a life together was so exciting and so much fun!
After 19 years of marriage and many ups and downs on the roller coaster of life... I dream of the above photo! I have learned that material things and all the things we built together truly don't matter... We adore and love our children and feel so blessed. But....I just want my hubby to adore me and make me feel super special like he did when we first met! Is this too much to ask? Today, I am thinking of how I can make an effort to get back to this... he did agree and say he would go on a weekend wine tasting trip w/ me, when I asked him last night. I told him I miss being romantic and feeling like real love birds. A long marriage can feel very content. This is not bad. But I long for some passion. I'm only 41 for pete's sake!
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